Tuesday, December 4, 2012

This Drink is Awful

The contents of this blender bottle are horrible.  It takes like ground up chalk mixed with stale coffee.

Every time I read a food blog and see these perfectly crafted pictures I think to myself "this can't be real."  Really?  Daily food posts of brand new ideas?  All of them are perfectly photographed?  Any they taste good?  

LIES!  We all know that some of these recipes taste bad.  No one will admit it, but bad recipes are out there.  No one wants to take responsibility for it though.  

Ladies and gentlemen, I present a food blogging first:  A bad recipe.  

In the above pictured bottle is a protein shake that I concocted.  Last month, after becoming fed up with my apartment complex "gym," and through much persuasion from my friend Lauren, I joined a gym.  A real, mega-gym, where the people are insanely attractive and there are massive displays of health supplements lining the wall as you walk in.  In my effort to embrace all that is the mega-gym lifestyle, I decided I needed to start drinking "recovery drinks."  It will help my body repair itself after my incredibly grueling workouts.  

Yes dear friends, the contents of the bottle include soy based protein powder.  Well, what Amazon.com has led me to believe is protein powder.  Along with convincing me to join a gym, Lauren had convinced me that protein drinks are good.  Once again, LIES!  I don't know what Lauren put into her protein drink, but mine tastes like someone cleaned an eraser over a glass of ground up almonds and didn't even have the decency to put sugar in it.

Without further delay, I will share this recipe with you.  Unlike other food bloggers, with me you get the good, the bad, and the hideous.

Protein Shake:


  • 8 oz cold coffee
  • 8 oz almond milk
  • 2 tbs protein powder
Combine all ingredients in a blender bottle.  Shake until well mixed or you worked up the nerve to actually consume this abomination.

Although I spent a decent amount of time complaining about this drink, I should say, because I am both cheap and a bit of a masochist (I did mention earlier that I am a lawyer), I will continue to drink a variation of this until I finish the tub of powder.

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