This Drink is Awful

The contents of this blender bottle are horrible.  It takes like ground up chalk mixed with stale coffee.

Every time I read a food blog and see these perfectly crafted pictures I think to myself "this can't be real."  Really?  Daily food posts of brand new ideas?  All of them are perfectly photographed?  Any they taste good?  

LIES!  We all know that some of these recipes taste bad.  No one will admit it, but bad recipes are out there.  No one wants to take responsibility for it though.  

Ladies and gentlemen, I present a food blogging first:  A bad recipe.  

In the above pictured bottle is a protein shake that I concocted.  Last month, after becoming fed up with my apartment complex "gym," and through much persuasion from my friend Lauren, I joined a gym.  A real, mega-gym, where the people are insanely attractive and there are massive displays of health supplements lining the wall as you walk in.  In my effort to embrace all that is the mega-gym lifestyle, I decided I needed to start drinking "recovery drinks."  It will help my body repair itself after my incredibly grueling workouts.  

Yes dear friends, the contents of the bottle include soy based protein powder.  Well, what Amazon.com has led me to believe is protein powder.  Along with convincing me to join a gym, Lauren had convinced me that protein drinks are good.  Once again, LIES!  I don't know what Lauren put into her protein drink, but mine tastes like someone cleaned an eraser over a glass of ground up almonds and didn't even have the decency to put sugar in it.

Without further delay, I will share this recipe with you.  Unlike other food bloggers, with me you get the good, the bad, and the hideous.

Protein Shake:

Ingredients:

• 8 oz cold coffee
• 8 oz almond milk
• 2 tbs protein powder

Combine all ingredients in a blender bottle.  Shake until well mixed or you worked up the nerve to actually consume this abomination.

Although I spent a decent amount of time complaining about this drink, I should say, because I am both cheap and a bit of a masochist (I did mention earlier that I am a lawyer), I will continue to drink a variation of this until I finish the tub of powder.

Recipe - Breakfast Burritos

With the advent of Pinterest and the change in my husband's work schedule, I have become really interested in creating freezer meals.  Freezer meals are bites that can be cooked in a large batch at one time and then portioned out for individual servings throughout the week.  I like it for two reasons (1) since my husband and I don't get to eat together every day, we can still eat the same meal and mentally share that, and (2) a lot less dishes to clean on net, since I am only cooking once as opposed to five times.  I've mastered the one pot meal in college because I hated doing dishes that much.

One of the most popular recipes that I have seen on Pinterest I have seen has been the make ahead breakfast burrito.  I swear I've seen ten different varieties of the same darn burrito, but none ever seemed that great to me, nor did they seem that healthy.  In light of that, I developed my own spin on the burrito, and I must say, it is really tasty and filling.

Breakfast Burritos

Total time:  30-45 minutes (depending on how fast you can fold a burrito)

Servings:  about 16 burritos, depending on how full you make them

Ingredients and gear:

• 1 qt of egg whites
• 8 whole eggs
• 2 C shredded part skim cheese (I've used mozzarella and Mexican blend)
• 2 small cans on diced green Chile peppers
• 2 packages of large whole wheat flour tortillas (in the picture I have the white flour tortillas because I went grocery shopping at a small store this week)
• 1 pound bag mixed pepper strips,or another vegetable if you so desire
• desired seasonings (salt, pepper, garlic, paprika, cayenne, whatever you want)
• aluminum foil - torn into squares that are about the size of the tortillas

Directions

1. Put the eggs, egg whites, Chile peppers, peppers (or other veg), and seasonings into a large skillet.  Whisk until the entire skillet is well mixed and the whole eggs are broken.  You can do this in batches, but I don't because I don't want to double my work.
2. Cook the eggs on medium, scrambling the mixture as it cooks.
3. Once the eggs are cooked, set up your assembly line.  You can use my method as a guide (see picture below).
4. Assemble the burritos:  Put a spatula full of eggs on the bottom third of the tortilla, sprinkle with some cheese, and fold the burritos.  Here is a good video that shows exactly how to fold a burrito.  Mine never look that good.
5. Wrap in foil and place in the freezer.
6. To reheat, remove foil (or don't and see a really awesome light show in your microwave), and heat up for 3 minutes on high.  Then flip the burrito over and cook for another 2 minutes.  Time varies by microwave.

• Eggs on the left, work space in the middle, bowl of cheese to the right, and tortillas waiting on the right.  When assembling, I place a tortilla on the foil and then fold the burrito in the foil.