I've had the same thing for breakfast for seven years

Almost every day, for the past seven years, I have eaten the same thing for breakfast. 

Oatmeal.

I know, it is weird.  How can I eat the same thing, nearly every day of the week, for seven years?  I've spent the past seven years trying to answer that question too.  As far as I could figure out, it is cheap, easy, filling, and very comforting, which meets all the requirements I have for breakfast (as well as any other meal).  Also, eating the same thing almost every day for the past seven years has really indulged my crazy person side.  Really, doing the same thing every day for seven years cannot be normal.  I mean, I am perfectly okay with it, but then again, I am a lawyer, which means that I am slightly crazy. 

Let's not forget, it is also tasty.  I wouldn't the same thing everyday without it tasting good (okay, maybe that is a little bit of a lie, but really, I promise, this is good.  I do oatmeal right.)

First, I get  bulk rolled oats from Whole Foods.  None of that over-sugared instant packets for me.  I'd like to say that I am all humble and I just don't love sweet stuff, but the honest answer is that I don't eat prepackaged oatmeal because I am a breakfast snob.  I've watched nearly every episode of all 14 seasons of Good Eats, I get food snobby.

Next, I throw some cinnamon in there.  At this point it may seem that I put cinnamon in everything.  No, I don't.  Just in breakfast foods.  I'm slightly weird, but I do have taste buds.  Finally, I top it off with the boiling water.  Originally, heating up the water separately was a holdover from the fact that I lived in a microwave free apartment for four years, but at this point it is habit.  Also, since the water is hotter, the oats absorb it better, which means better oatmeal.

What I've learned from this over the past seven years by eating the same thing nearly every day, and in the past 10 minutes by forcing myself to confess this to the internet, is that I am slightly crazy, incredibly weird, and really, very okay with that.

The Quaker Oats Quaker may be silently judging me, but I don't care.

This Drink is Awful

The contents of this blender bottle are horrible.  It takes like ground up chalk mixed with stale coffee.

Every time I read a food blog and see these perfectly crafted pictures I think to myself "this can't be real."  Really?  Daily food posts of brand new ideas?  All of them are perfectly photographed?  Any they taste good?  

LIES!  We all know that some of these recipes taste bad.  No one will admit it, but bad recipes are out there.  No one wants to take responsibility for it though.  

Ladies and gentlemen, I present a food blogging first:  A bad recipe.  

In the above pictured bottle is a protein shake that I concocted.  Last month, after becoming fed up with my apartment complex "gym," and through much persuasion from my friend Lauren, I joined a gym.  A real, mega-gym, where the people are insanely attractive and there are massive displays of health supplements lining the wall as you walk in.  In my effort to embrace all that is the mega-gym lifestyle, I decided I needed to start drinking "recovery drinks."  It will help my body repair itself after my incredibly grueling workouts.  

Yes dear friends, the contents of the bottle include soy based protein powder.  Well, what Amazon.com has led me to believe is protein powder.  Along with convincing me to join a gym, Lauren had convinced me that protein drinks are good.  Once again, LIES!  I don't know what Lauren put into her protein drink, but mine tastes like someone cleaned an eraser over a glass of ground up almonds and didn't even have the decency to put sugar in it.

Without further delay, I will share this recipe with you.  Unlike other food bloggers, with me you get the good, the bad, and the hideous.

Protein Shake:

Ingredients:

• 8 oz cold coffee
• 8 oz almond milk
• 2 tbs protein powder

Combine all ingredients in a blender bottle.  Shake until well mixed or you worked up the nerve to actually consume this abomination.

Although I spent a decent amount of time complaining about this drink, I should say, because I am both cheap and a bit of a masochist (I did mention earlier that I am a lawyer), I will continue to drink a variation of this until I finish the tub of powder.